Masked crawler

Spins a web, any size.                    Spans the Web, and he sighs.

Kung Fu Puppy

Snatch the snausage from my hand, Grasshopper.

Sauve and De-boner

Vodka martini.                             Shaken, not stirred.

'roid rage

Or most likely a yawn. Raging seems limited to squeaky toys and slippers.

Writer's Block

Everyone wants to have written. Nobody wants to write.

Stare

The eyes follow you wherever you go.

So does the rest of him.

Fear

Fangs? Check.
Long nose? Check.
Scenery chewing? Oh, my, yes.

Count Duke-ula.